Fighting sports, making out and tender birds: One night in Cardiff

You know. You are on tour. You are in Wales. You want to go out in Cardiff … All of a sudden the bus driver has a broken shoulder and the tour manager gets in a fight with cab drivers. But let´s start at the beginning. Cardiff was one stop during the UK tour in February 2014. Zebrahead was playing support for the co-headliners Reel Big Fish and Less than Jake. The show was taking place in the „Great Hall“ of the University on Saturday. By the way, Welsh words look like as if someone cooked syllables-goulash while playing Wheel of Fortune. I´ll buy all vowels in this world and I would like to solve.

welsh

We arrived one day earlier so we had that night off. That means everybody goes out. Even our busdriver. There were rumors that it could be rough even on a customary Tuesday. Let´s see what a Friday has to offer. We just arrived in the epicenter and Daniel and me already met two girls in front of a club. Driven by the alcohol I tried to approached these two tender ladies. The German accent pushed it´s way through the auditory passage right in the mating center of their brains, to trigger the reproductive instinct of these two beauties. That would explain the request from one girl: „You should kiss him!“. After all we knew each other for 4 minutes, so I thought it would be a good idea.

After a squillion shots we moved on to the next location. This was the place where our bus driver realized that a Welsh dance floor is harder than a German shoulder. The next day should provide certainty. Diagnosis: Broken shoulder. I thought it would be a good idea to bring him back to the bus. Ok, now try to get a cab in Cardiff as a drunk German with another drunk and wounded German in your arms. As easy as counting money with boxing gloves. Someone wanted our money, though. But that creepy looking dude didn´t know, where the University was. That guy was as reliable as a phantom company on the Cayman Islands. I explained him, that the busses are parking there, that there is a show, that they call it „Great Hall“ and that it is the f*cking University! As a cab driver in Cardiff you should at least know Cardiff. It´s not too much to ask for. A not known destination doesn´t keep a Welsh cabdriver from taking off. Every attempt of communication was pointless now. Totally unimpressed by my attack of sweating the driver changed direction radically like a fleeing bunny on coke. While our bus driver was oxidating on the backseat, I was trying to figure out, how this story will end. Maybe this is something like Candid Camera and soon the Welsh version of Allen Funt will climb out of the trunk. Awweln Fpqt or something like that. But before I could finish my thoughts, I saw a familiar shape – our bus! Inside me rised an unbalanced mix of hope and euphory! I wanted to shout “Navigator, that way!” But only gibberish left my mouth. Well, perfect Welsh then. After we arrived at the bus, I opened the door, grabbed our driver and payed the cab. Not that easy with an alcohol level above Russia. I gave the cab driver a tip in three currencies: Nothing. Nada. Niente. He suddenly was in a pretty bad mood and took off. Tips depend on the happiness of the customer. I think he didn’t get that. After our busdriver went to bed I went outside to wait for the other guys.

Rough night, I thought … And then they arrived. Including bloody lips. Marc and Owen got their mouths signed by fistfighting cabdrivers. This can’t be coincidence any more! Even these cabdrivers – not sure, if these people were cab drivers at all – didn’t know the way to the University and drove them somewhere else. Owen told the driver to bring them were they wanted to go. Of course they wanted to pay for it even if it was a detour. But that would have been to easy for a real cabdriver from Cardiff. Maybe he thought our guys wanted to rip him off, so he called for back-up. Owen was quick thinking and took a picture from the drivers registration plate and pulled off the car key. I think that was the moment where the fists came into play. Even without an escort they somehow made it back to the bus. Afterwards Owen and Marc had to go to the police to make a statement regarding the events of that night. That story castrates my night to a vegan day trip on the Danube. While Less than Jake and Reel Big Fish turned out the lights early, we kept our livers entertained a little bit longer.

What else is going on? You should definitely visit Cardiff! The welsh people – like all the British people I met so far – are really nice and helpful. Except for the mentioned cabdrivers. We didn´t have much time that day for sightseeing, but we made it to the Cardiff Castle. It is really impressive when you walk through the city center right next to a huge castle wall.

Credits title picture: Owen Hardman (http://www.apathyonline.co.uk/)

Next time at snuckout: Will I ever find my pants? Has my liver a day off? And what´s that weird smell?

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